Heart Connections

In God’s Waiting Room

2008-09-21T23:14:00.014-04:00

On December 9, 2007 James announced his resignation as Senior Pastor at Stone Creek Church. After almost 13 years in this wonderful body, we both sensed God calling us away and moving us someplace else. We didn’t know where that would be but our hearts’ desire was to focus our energies on marriages and families. We stayed at Stone Creek until June 15, 2008 with the purpose of easing the transition for our congregation while also praying and searching for a new job. God began to open some doors and a couple of times it seemed that we had found “the place” but then the door would close.

In this year long process of waiting on God, the small but powerful book, The Red Sea Rules by Robert J. Morgan came across our path. In it he uses the Israelites story in Exodus 14, where they are trapped between Pharoah’s army and the Red Sea, to reveal 10 biblical principles to help believers facing difficulties to move from fear to faith. From the outset I knew that we would be waiting on God to provide but I knew also that I could choose how I was going to wait. When the waiting room was over, I wanted to look back and see that I had waited in faith and not with an anxious, troubled heart.

There have been a couple of major things that God has shown me during this time. First, I realized that God had allowed us to be in the circumstances we were in, just like God led the Israelites to the place by the Red Sea. James and I reminded ourselves of this fact—God led us to this place and He will lead us out in His perfect timing. Morgan said, “We mustn’t doubt in the darkness what God has shown us in the light”. The Lord had clearly shown us that we were supposed to leave our church. There were days of darkness when doubts crowded in, especially after six months of waiting. I felt homeless in a way, between churches. I missed my brothers and sisters at Stone Creek who had been my family for so many years. Looking back I can see God’s hand during this time because being away from our church allowed my heart to be ready for the next church family He had for us. And He has provided in a wonderful way, leading us to Bethany Bible Church, which is only 7 miles from our home. Bethany is very similar to Stone Creek in that you feel like you’re home when you visit. James is now working there part-time as the Marriage and Family Pastor and we couldn’t be happier. God has led us out of the waiting room in His perfect timing as His Word said He would.

The second thing I’ve learned is how God reveals His will. Morgan says, “Following God’s will isn’t a matter of unveiling, but unfolding. The One who knows the faraway future reveals each close-at-hand step as needed”. God didn’t tell the Israelites when they were in slavery in Egypt that they would be facing the Egyptian army and the Red Sea once they were freed. Instead He only told them what they needed to know to obey Him at that particular moment. This is exactly what God did with James and me. By unfolding a piece at a time, showing us a step at a time, this put us in a place of daily dependence on Him. I couldn’t see ahead even to the next day but I knew He did. He wanted me to only obey in the matter in which He had revealed to me and leave my tomorrows in His hands.

As God promised, He has provided us a place to grow and minister. Besides working part-time at Bethany Bible Church, James has joined Dr. John Trent in his ministry, Strong Families. This incredible ministry is dedicated to helping Christians build strong relationships that provide the platform for parents to pass down their faith to their children. We are so excited about this opportunity also. Strong Families is a faith-based organization which means we are in the process of raising our support. So again we wait on God to provide through individuals who desire to invest in us and this ministry. We know as God has guided us to a place to serve that He will provide the means to do it. The story of the Israelites proves that God always provides for His children as they follow His leading. His Word is true and may it encourage your heart today. “This I recall to mind therefore I have hope. The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion says my soul, therefore I have hope in Him. The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him”. Lamentations 3:21-25

Planes, ships, and automobiles

2008-07-19T18:55:00.012-04:00

For the past three weeks, I’ve been away from the routine of home. On June 22^nd, James and I went on a 7-day Carnival Cruise to the Mexican Riviera to celebrate our 25^th wedding anniversary. We spent the first couple of days at sea and then stopped at three ports: Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan, and Cabo. The cruise ship was humongous—three football fields long and 10 stories high, carrying over 2,000 people. The food was great and our surroundings were beautiful but I must say that the highlight of our trip was when James performed as Frank Sinatra singing, “I Did It My Way” with a live band and dancers in the final cruise show in front of 1,200 fellow cruisers. I talked him into doing karaoke one night and that was the result. Amazing! I jokingly asked him if a Christian pastor should be singing a song with that title.

Following the cruise, we came home, washed clothes, and set out with our kids the next day for a week long vacation at a friend’s lake house in south Texas. The days were filled with family, fellowship, and fun on the lake. We were able to visit with both of our parents and Matt and Laurie flew down from New York to join us. The best part of this trip was when my new daughter-in-law said, “I love being a part of this family”. It doesn’t get much better than that!

After a return 15-hour car trip to Arizona, James and I left via plane back to Texas for a job interview with a church in Keller which is outside Ft. Worth. The church was wonderful and the people very friendly. We stayed with my sister Laura and her husband and between meetings, I squeezed in antique shopping, walking, and eating Blue Bell ice cream each evening.

At each place we’ve been, I’ve looked for opportunities to be in God’s Word and worship Him. This is always somewhat tricky during vacation. At home I have a usual time, 5:30 a.m., and a usual place, in the corner of my living room on a small leather loveseat, and reading the Bible occupies the majority of my quiet time. But when I’m away, I find it more difficult to have a set time and to focus on reading because I’m often interrupted and easily distracted by the conversations and activities of others around me. And yet everyday in different ways during these past three weeks, God provided opportunities for worship. I recall one morning during our cruise when I went out on deck and just stared at the ocean for quite a while, enjoying the blue vastness with not the smallest piece of land in sight. And imagine…I thought the ship was big. There’s nothing like the ocean to give me perspective on my life and its problems. As I stood looking out, I saw about 30 or so dolphins playing in the nearby waves of our ship. A smile broke across my face and I thanked God for letting me see them and I began to imagine all the creatures I couldn’t see that live deep below the surface. Psalm 104 says, “O Lord, how many are Your works! In wisdom You have made them all. The earth is full of Your creatures. There is the sea, great and broad in which are swarms without number, animals both small and great”. God said to me that day, “I’m the Creator; I’m in control; I’m all powerful—just look at My ocean and at My dolphins”.

In south Texas I enjoyed some early mornings sitting by the lake, watching the fish jump and seeing the turtles pop their heads up out of the water and then back down again. Lake Placid is surrounded by beautiful green lawns and towering pecan and sycamore trees. Squirrels were chasing each other from tree to tree and gorgeous red cardinals flew from branch to branch. All the lush, green surroundings were a treat to this desert dweller. Honestly, I couldn’t keep my eyes on my devotional reading. I was afraid I would miss something. But even without reading a word, God said to me, “Look at what I’ve made. I take care of the birds and squirrels. I will take care of you”.

I would say, however, that the best quiet time I had during vacation took place on the jet ski. Yes, the jet ski. I loved being alone and in control of where and how fast I wanted to go. I loved jumping the waves made by other boats and feeling the water spray my face. For some reason, I felt close to God zooming across the surface of the lake. I can’t explain it except that I felt His pleasure as I enjoyed myself.

Now I’m back in Phoenix and have returned to my leather sofa at 5:30 a.m. It feels good to be home and back into the routine. I am so thankful for the blessing of being away, seeing family, and experiencing His presence in new ways. Summer’s not over yet. If you still have vacation time, wherever you go this summer or whomever you may visit, take the opportunity to experience God in a new way or in a new place. He’s waiting to speak to your heart, possibly on the back of a jet ski!

How Many More Miles?

2008-06-22T08:35:00.006-04:00

My family and I are fixin’ to go on vacation. Fixin’ is the Texas way of saying that we are preparing to go somewhere. In this case, the place is a small Texas town just a little northwest of San Antonio called Seguin. It’s in this quaint town that some dear friends have offered their lake house to our family for a week. We’ll spend our days fishing, boating, drinking sweet tea on the back porch, playing cards, and eating lots of good food. Our visit lands during the July 4^th weekend which means fireworks off the boat dock. What a treat for our city-bred kids! Some of our extended family will be able to join us and to top it off, Matt and Laurie are flying down from New York for the celebration.

But before all this fun, comes fifteen long hours in a car with 3 teenagers. We’ll sleep some and munch on healthy snacks like pork rinds, sunflower seeds, and Sugar Babies. We’ll play the ABC game and the license plate game and I’m sure we’ll do a little bit of reading and maybe watch a DVD or two or five. Invariably though, I’ll hear one or all of them say at some time during our trip, “How many more miles?” or “When are we going to get there?”

I asked the same question of God yesterday. I sat on my sofa in the living room, took a sip of coffee, and wrote in my journal, “How much longer God?” As some of you are aware, my husband James preached his final sermon last Sunday on Father’s Day. We are certain that God has called us away from the church where we’ve been for almost 13 years but we’re waiting for Him to tell us exactly where to go. Waiting is tough. I get impatient for the microwave to cook my popcorn! I’m ready to get there, wherever there is. I’m ready to get started, at least that’s what I tell the Lord. But still His answer is “Not yet”. If I focus on how many more miles then progress seems slow and I grow impatient and face the temptation to manipulate the circumstances so that somehow I might get my answer more quickly. Of course, that doesn’t work. I need to listen to the advice I give my own children while on our car trip. I encourage them to enjoy the journey and remind them of the truth—we will eventually arrive at our destination. The trip won’t last forever.

I’m unsure of where God is leading James and me. We don’t know our specific destination. But God’s Word reminds me of what I can be sure of. Psalm 27:13-14 says, “I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living; wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord”. He promises that I will see His goodness. The wait won’t last forever. My activities during this waiting trip aren’t to play the ABC game or highway bingo but to “be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord”. In a nutshell that means to not be wimpy while I wait but courageous because I have a God who is at work on my behalf and will help me reach my destination safely. So to all of you who are in God’s waiting room, (and I would like to hear your stories so that I could pray for you), choose daily to find your strength and courage in the Lord and as you wait, enjoy the journey!

The First and The Last

2008-06-09T17:30:00.012-04:00

Welcome ladies to my blog! This is a first for me. I'm entering this whole new world due to the encouragement of a friend and out of obedience to God. For a few years I've sensed the Lord moving me in this direction and so today I'm taking my first step with a little fear and yet great excitement. But firsts are like that, aren't they? For example, last fall I tried my very first rock wall climb. I was at a Christian camp in Prescott that had a 35 foot climbing tower. As I waited for my turn, I felt like I was going to get sick to my stomach. I watched my other girlfriends attempt the climb and seeing the joy in their accomplishment spurred me on. I donned the harness and helmet and began my ascent with legs somewhat shaky. It became quite tricky toward the top but finally I made it and then enjoyed the thrill of gliding through the air for 400 feet on a zip line. Now I'm not sure if I would do it again, but I am glad that I tried this "first". Life is full of "firsts": first time to live on your own, first time to make the Thanksgiving turkey, first time to have a baby, first time to blog...first times.

Yesterday, however, I experienced one of my "lasts". I took my youngest son Samuel into Regis Salon to get his hair cut before football camp and it was the last time to pay the child price for a haircut. Actually, it was the last child for the last time to pay the reduced price. The "lasts" sneak up on me. I often remember the "firsts" because of the anticipation waiting for them and the accompanying emotions but "lasts" have a way of coming and going without much fanfare. I look back months, sometimes years later and wonder, "When was the last time Sam asked me to read him a bedtime story or when did he stop wanting to be tucked in bed"? The "lasts" aren't written down into his baby book.

This week, however, contains a last that I will never forget. Not only does my 4th and last child move from being a child to a teen but this is my last week to be called a senior pastor's wife. My husband James has resigned his position as pastor of our church. This "last" is a tough one. After almost 13 years, we sense God moving us on, and for over a decade, we have been blessed more than we could imagine with wonderful friends in Christ and incredible ministry experiences. Our church has been our family and words cannot express how much we will miss them. As with "firsts" though, this "last" is met with some fear and yet great excitement. The fear creeps in ever so often, (usually around 3 a.m. for me), because we are still waiting on His specific marching orders. But the excitement is there as day by day He reveals a little more of His plan for our lives.

My walk with God through this “last” has been consistent but full of highs and lows. One day I’m trusting Him for what I cannot see and the next I’m crying out to God to hurry up! I don’t sense His disappointment in these emotional rantings and ravings; rather I become more amazed each day with His patient love toward me. This morning as I was contemplating what to write on my “first” blog during my “last” week of being the senior pastor’s wife of Stone Creek Church, the Lord reminded me of His words in Revelations 22:13. “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” The Lord is so incredibly personal isn’t He? In the midst of my last, He is The Last. When I experience a “first”, He is The First. The bottom line in all the seasons of my life, all the firsts and lasts, is that He is. He is there. He’s way ahead of me and He’s got my back. As Oswald Chambers put it “The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty”. That is, I may as a Christian woman be uncertain of the next step, but I am certain of God. I am certain of His care and His love. And that ladies, should be the “last” word on it!

Meet My Best Friend

2008-04-30T12:49:00.002-04:00

The Bible tells us that we have a friend who sticks closer than a brother. I have found that to be true. If you'd like to meet my best friend, Jesus, click here http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/knowHim.htm

Contact

2008-04-30T12:48:00.001-04:00

I love reading your comments on my post, but if you need to contact me privately, feel free to email me at:

rfilling40@aol.com

Speaking Topics

2008-04-30T12:46:00.009-04:00

Below are some of my favorite topics. I am always working on new presentations and willing to help you create an event or retreat that suits your needs.

“The Queen & I: Becoming a Woman God Can Use”

The Bible says that “the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.” By studying the life story of Esther, you will discover what kind of woman God is looking for, the processes He uses to prepare her, and how His eyes can rest on you. (also available as a retreat)

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“Fill Me Up, Lord!”

In Ephesians 5:18 Christians are commanded to “be filled with the Spirit”. What exactly does that mean and who is the Holy Spirit? This tea party themed retreat with 3 messages titled “Filling”, “Steeping”, and “Pouring Out” will cause women to not only understand and appreciate “the Helper” but will lead them to a greater dependence on His power in their daily lives.

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“The Defining Difference”

It’s been said “You can’t become what you can’t define” and most women today can’t define what it means to be a woman. As the lives of the two first ladies of the Bible, Eve and Mary, are examined, you will discover a biblical definition of authentic womanhood. This definition can serve as a filter for decision-making, a tool to combat temptation, and a compass to direct the 21st century woman in a life that honors God and makes good sense in the end.

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“Still the One”

How do you keep the flame burning in your marriage relationship throughout the years? Jesus gives us the “recipe” for maintaining our first love in the second chapter of the book of Revelation.

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“The S Word”

Submission is sometimes seen as a dirty word by many Christian women today. And yet we are told in Ephesians 5 “to be subject to your own husband as to the Lord.” Are we defining submission by our culture or the Word of God? Practically, how do we live out submission in our daily lives? Discover how this command of God actually brings freedom to a woman and paves the way for a strong and enduring marriage.

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“Reality Motherhood”

We all have ideas and dreams of what a “good mother” should look like and how she should be. And yet we live in a real world with real problems with real kids. How does a mother strive for all God wants her to be and live in this reality? By looking at the life of Hannah in II Samuel, we’ll gain insights that can guide us in our journey toward godly, realistic motherhood.

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“Mary: A Mentor for Moms”

She experienced fear, disruptions, problems, joys, mistakes, and heartache. Mary, the mother of Jesus, has walked the road before us. Sit at her feet and be encouraged by her story of faith and hope.

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“The Discipline of Darkness”

Dark times are a reality in every woman’s life. But what should we do in the midst of the darkness? Rene’ shares her experience “in the valley” and how God illumined her darkness.

What Others Are Saying

“Thank you so much for speaking at our women's spring event! Your message was so timely, something every woman needs to hear! You related well to all our ladies--from our teens to our seniors--and every woman had nothing but wonderful things to say. Your love for Jesus shines through and your heart for women blessed us all.”

Janet Drez, Women's Ministry Director, Arizona Community Church

“Rene’ is a gifted and articulate communicator. She demonstrates an earnest desire to convey the truth of God’s Word in a way that will penetrate and convict women’s hearts.”

Diane Lippard, Christian Business Women’s Association

“Rene’ was a tremendous blessing to all the women who attended our “Fill Me Up, Lord!” retreat. Her message was clear, relevant, insightful and full of God’s Word. Her warmth and tender heart for ministering God’s love to women of all ages made a lasting impression on everyone.”

Krissy Stevens, Genesis Church, Women’s Ministry Coach

“Rene’ has a passion to teach and encourage women through God’s Word. As a pastor’s wife and mother of four, Rene’ brings wisdom, understanding, and biblical truth to a woman’s heart as she teaches godly principles that apply to daily life. It is a joy and privilege to recommend Rene’ as a speaker and teacher!”

Susan Miller, Founder/President, Just Moved! Ministries

“It is an honor to recommend Rene’ Fillingame as a speaker at any event. Her manner is mild and loving; her message is compelling; and her spirit is passionate."

Sheila Webster, Author/Executive Director, Women with Vision Conference

Meet Rene'

2008-04-30T12:42:00.006-04:00

Thank you for visiting my website. Formal bios make me somewhat uncomfortable and so I would like to informally share with you who I am and a little about my life and how it has led me to “Heart Connections”.

I grew up in Texas but have a French name which actually has the male spelling. My mom didn’t know that; she just liked the name. I have a deep love and appreciation for the outdoors which was probably passed onto me by my mother also. If I could, I would spend most of my time outside. Living in Phoenix allows me to do that all but four months out of the year. As a result, I am able to do some of the things I love the most like hiking. I also enjoy reading, watching old Rogers and Hammerstein musicals, and drinking coffee and eating pumpkin scones at Starbucks.

My husband: James is a senior pastor at a church in Phoenix and he is the most caring pastor I know. He is supportive of me in every way and this August we will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary. We met in college at the University of North Texas and were good friends for two years. And then one night, literally, we fell in love. How thankful I am to have married my best friend! Our favorite date is to hop on our motorcycle and ride up into the mountains north of the city and eat breakfast out on the porch of Harold's.

My kids: I have four incredible children, who are all growing up way too fast. Matt just married Laurie last summer, (yippee!!!), and they live in New York City. Hannah is a sophomore in college, Bethany is a too-soon-to-be high school senior, and Samuel is finishing 7th grade. I love them all to pieces and ministering to them has been a top priority in my life. Besides raising children, our family also breeds golden retrievers. Sam even helped me deliver the last litter in the wee hours of the morning this past New Year’s Day.

My education: I have a B.S. in education and a M.S. in Speech/Language Pathology but my greatest educational experience has been raising my four kids. I have just finished the 7th and final year of Bible Study Fellowship which has been such a great joy and has caused me to love Christ and His Word so much more.

My ministry: James and I served on the staff of the Family Life Ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ during our first years of marriage. We moved to Phoenix, Arizona where James got his Masters of Divinity and then began pastoring at Stone Creek Church. I have done a little bit of everything there except play piano…chopsticks just wouldn’t cut it. What I love to do is lead Bible studies, mentor women, and speak at events and retreats.

My heart: I received Jesus as my Savior at the age of 13 while I was watching a movie produced by the Billy Graham Association. During a period of time in college, I left Jesus but He never left me. I recommitted my life to Him and I’ve never been the same. He has brought me peace, purpose, and passion in my day to day life. Specifically, my passion is to connect women to the heart of God through His Word in order that they may fall more in love with Christ and impact the world around them. My prayer is that “Heart Connections” will encourage you in this way.